interpol15 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
interpol15) wrote2005-12-19 05:01 pm
interpol15) wrote2005-12-19 05:01 pm
Spending all my time on a tightrope, praying I don't fall...but I already am
God, I'm such a terrible girlfriend. No one deserves to be stuck with a passive-agressive, depressed, emotional, anxious-aviodant, indecisive, and all together FUCKED UP person like me. I wonder why he's even stuck by me. I mean, I wouldn't, and I would completely understand it if he left. No one wants or needs (especially not someone as wonderful as Wilson) to be burdened with another person's problems, especially when they have as many as I do.
On another note, parts of the weekend were alright, and parts sucked. I can't wait for exams to just be over and to go home and hide from everything. And I'm hurting myself again. I know that I shouldn't do it, but it's all that I deserve.
I just want to be able to fall asleep for eternity and forget about all that I haven't become
Hey, on a cheerier note, here's a meme that I stole from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
breakmouth! All my answers are bolded and have "x"'s, just so that you know.
Appearance
[x] I am shorter than 5'4''.
[x] I think I'm ugly
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I used to wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn around my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.
[x] I've skipped school.
Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.
Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] Ive sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[x] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe
[ ] I've been to Africa.
Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've been an abuse victim.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from the internet
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[ ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.
Relationships
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've had someone cheat on me.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of commitment.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x] I'm in love.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I love to flirt.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[x] I am a terrible liar.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've ran a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted
Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I smoke.
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[x] I'm a stoner.
[ ] I've snorted coke.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
Depression and Self-harm
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I have been either anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.
[x] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x] I've seen a therapist.
Death
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
Political/Social Attitudes
[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[x] I'm a feminist.
[ ] I'm very outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm Democratic.
[ ] I'm Republican.
[x] I'm liberal.
[x] I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I'm religious.
[ ] I'm against homosexual marriage.
[x] I dress fairly modestly.
[ ] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."
[x] I'm pro-choice.
Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I like being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[x] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest.
On another note, parts of the weekend were alright, and parts sucked. I can't wait for exams to just be over and to go home and hide from everything. And I'm hurting myself again. I know that I shouldn't do it, but it's all that I deserve.
Hey, on a cheerier note, here's a meme that I stole from
breakmouth! All my answers are bolded and have "x"'s, just so that you know.Appearance
[x] I am shorter than 5'4''.
[x] I think I'm ugly
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I used to wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn around my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.
[x] I've skipped school.
Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.
Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] Ive sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[x] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe
[ ] I've been to Africa.
Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've been an abuse victim.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from the internet
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[ ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.
Relationships
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've had someone cheat on me.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of commitment.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x] I'm in love.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I love to flirt.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[x] I am a terrible liar.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've ran a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted
Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I smoke.
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[x] I'm a stoner.
[ ] I've snorted coke.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
Depression and Self-harm
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I have been either anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.
[x] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x] I've seen a therapist.
Death
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
Political/Social Attitudes
[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[x] I'm a feminist.
[ ] I'm very outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm Democratic.
[ ] I'm Republican.
[x] I'm liberal.
[x] I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I'm religious.
[ ] I'm against homosexual marriage.
[x] I dress fairly modestly.
[ ] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."
[x] I'm pro-choice.
Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I like being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[x] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest.
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...um which one are you talking about? *changed ALL SIX of her icons last night*
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You have great icons. I keep laughing at all the Gerard ones.
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See you soon Allie.
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God, I'm such a terrible girlfriend. No one deserves to be stuck with a passive-agressive, depressed, emotional, anxious-aviodant, indecisive, and all together FUCKED UP person like me. I wonder why he's even stuck by me. I mean, I wouldn't, and I would completely understand it if he left. No one wants or needs (especially not someone as wonderful as Jacob) to be burdened with another person's problems, especially when they have as many as I do.
I'm like Ghengis Khunt sometimes.
Bling.
In response to your list:
-Heck yes for skipping school. I slept through one of my classes. And in another I constantly fell asleep in it for 5 minute chunks.
-I am a snob for grammar.
-I always play with my hair
-But I am horrible at remember names.
I'm going to call you Monday.
And hey, here's to getting our semester grades.
Yuck.