(no subject)

everyone has their own image of what they look like lodged in their head. you know, the one that you picture yourself as even if you look completely different. i've been experiencing that sort of dual imagery for quite some time now.
over most of my senior year, i barely even recognized myself in the mirror. when people talk to me, i know that they see the so-called "pretty" face that i have. but i am unable to get in my head a real picture of what they see. to me, i still look like the fat girl from 8th grade who had no eyebrows and wierd hair because i pulled most of it out. maybe i'll never get past that image. i've been stuck looking like that for so long that its ingrained in my head.
i've had a bad self image for six long years, and this was the year where i finally was able to change it, at least physically. but i know for me to get past so much of my own self-loathing and other problems, is directly tied in with what i look like, my self-image, and how i've been treated by pretty much all of the people around me over the years. even if kids are nice to you now, when they teased you and asked you out on dates just for laughs in middle school stays with you. and i know i haven't been able to get my mind over the stuff they did to me back then.

(no subject)

Is it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?

or is the pain of love not worth it?

"here then, is a great mystery. for you who also love the little prince, and for me, nothing in the universe can be the same if somewhere, we do not know where, a sheep that we never saw has - yes or no? - eaten a rose...
look up at the sky. ask yourself: is it yes or no? has the sheep eaten the flower? and you will see how everything changes..."
-Antione de saint-Exupery



"'it is your own fault,' said the little prince, 'i never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you.'
'yes, that is so,' said the fox.
'but now you are going to cry!' said the little prince.
'yes, that is so,' said the fox.
'then it has done you no good at all!'
'it has done me good,' said the fox, 'because it has given me the color of the wheat fields.'...

'go and look again at the roses. you will understand now that yours is unique in all the world.'
the little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
'you are beautiful, but you are empty. one could not die for you. it is the time i have wasted for my rose that makes it unique'
'MEN HAVE FORGOTTEN THIS TRUTH, BUT YOU MUST NOT FORGET IT.'"
-Antione de Saint-Exupery

both from THE LITLE PRINCE