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The Good and the Bad
Feb. 3rd, 2006 03:11 pmToday was almost the best day ever. Heck, this was almost the best week ever.
Good:
Classes are going great. Papers suck, but I'm at least writing and not dying at them. Wilson and I now have our night, and I know what to do for Valentines Day for him. I'm speaking up more about what I want, instead of just being passive-agressive until things are spiraling out of control. I've realized that I no longer hate myself. I don't like parts of myself at all, and I detest what I was, and parts of what I am, but it is no longer hate.
Also, abnormal psych is probably the second best thing to happen to me since I saw a therapist and got meds. While I know that I would benefit from seeing a psychologist instead of a psychaitrist, part of me is afraid, part of me wants to fix myslef on my own, and part of me just doesn't want to spend hours in therapy, unlike where now I just see a psychatrist every few months, tell them that things are better (which is true) and get my prescription refiled. But psych is at least helping me understand myself better, and is giving me options to treat myself. I also know what will work for me, and so I now have the knowledge if what to do if I ever want to go back to therapy
ALSO!!! FLOGGING MOLLY CONCERT TONIGHT!!
Bad:
A good friend of my Dad and our family just died. His funeral is on Monday. He was sick for a while, and had been in and out of the hospital for several surgeries over the years. I had no idea that he was so sick. There were other things, but I don't have the full story, and I doubt that I ever will, so I'm assuming that his illness was the reason that he died.
That makes three deaths of people close to me in the last year. My grandmother, my baby cousin, and now Dubs. You can't stop the future, nor can you stop death, but I just wonder if this is it?
Good:
Classes are going great. Papers suck, but I'm at least writing and not dying at them. Wilson and I now have our night, and I know what to do for Valentines Day for him. I'm speaking up more about what I want, instead of just being passive-agressive until things are spiraling out of control. I've realized that I no longer hate myself. I don't like parts of myself at all, and I detest what I was, and parts of what I am, but it is no longer hate.
Also, abnormal psych is probably the second best thing to happen to me since I saw a therapist and got meds. While I know that I would benefit from seeing a psychologist instead of a psychaitrist, part of me is afraid, part of me wants to fix myslef on my own, and part of me just doesn't want to spend hours in therapy, unlike where now I just see a psychatrist every few months, tell them that things are better (which is true) and get my prescription refiled. But psych is at least helping me understand myself better, and is giving me options to treat myself. I also know what will work for me, and so I now have the knowledge if what to do if I ever want to go back to therapy
Bad:
A good friend of my Dad and our family just died. His funeral is on Monday. He was sick for a while, and had been in and out of the hospital for several surgeries over the years. I had no idea that he was so sick. There were other things, but I don't have the full story, and I doubt that I ever will, so I'm assuming that his illness was the reason that he died.
That makes three deaths of people close to me in the last year. My grandmother, my baby cousin, and now Dubs. You can't stop the future, nor can you stop death, but I just wonder if this is it?
