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Shit. I read the journals of my friends, and hope that they can work everything out, but i refuse to get involved. I'll willingly be a sounding board and help talk and stuff, but i'm not going to become a third wheel, pushing myself into situations where i'm not wanted. sorry guys.

a lot to talk about, i haven't updated in a while. hmm, where to start.

last Thurs.-
went to andrews birthday party and to the mall to get my ipod. party was alright, i felt bad for the foreign exchange student who was being ignored by her host, and for all the shit that happened with sierra and jacob.

Friday-got my computer

Saturday-went to work and fucking found out that i can't take a leave for school. it's either transfer, or quit, and transfering is not an option, so i am now jobless. which fucking sucks.

Monday-went to my psychiatrist. i've realized that neither she nor my parents have any clue as to what is really going on inside of me. it's like they all just think i'm a normal, well adjusted teenager, but they have no fucking idea. its not like i'm depressed again, its more that they just only see the person that i let them see, and have no idea that who they think i am is really a facade.

Tuesday-nothing interesting

Wednesday-got my meningitis shot, and am packing

i realized that i completely missed saying goodbye to sarah, and now won't see her until thanksgiving or christmas, which was really rude of me.

(no subject)

forgot to mention this. i leave sunday for college, so thanks to everyine for being such great friends, and for putting up with so much of my existential angst over the school year and summer. Jacob, i know you'll do great in j-club, and sierra, i'll see you in two years at school, 'k?