interpol15 | (no subject)

yeah, so i'm at jacob's house, typing on his computer. he's trying to do the drum cadence on my shoulder. it's not really annoying at all. finally am done at work for the week. my mom dragged me around mayfair today after i spent eight hours standing at work. my feet were killing me.

so, confessional time. saturday night i had a breakdown at around 1:30 am (really early sun. morning). i guess everything just hit me. college, me taking a 6-credit japanese course, me working constantly, my parents constantly interrogating me about school and my personal life, and worst of all, me over-analyzing my quasi-relationship with a certain guy.

Obviously, this last thing is the one that has been bothering me the most. i have no idea of what to make of it. if this is just going to end up with me being ignored and left in the dust, i would rather be told about it then keep up a pretense of something that isn't there. i can't deal with half of a relationship going into college. either it's got to end or actually become something real, or else it won't be fair to either of us.

i feel like everything is so fucked up, even though it isn't. as jacob said, i HAVE to do something. something with confidence.