I'm Broken

[interpol15]

I feel like I'm dying inside. I don't want to die, not yet, but all I want to do is just curl up in my bed and cry.

Somedays I hardly even notice it, but that's happening less and less. I get so angry, so fucking depressed that all I want to do is break everything in my room, hurt myself until I break every bone in my body, or just throw myself into the lake.

I hate being bipolar. I fucking hate it. And anti depressants just make me more agitated, and everything else just makes me a robot. I just want to be myself again.

I can't stand being like this anymore. This rage and desperation to just fucking disappear is driving me crazy. I'm stealing my roommates fucking ritalin. It's all I can do to just not get wasted every waking hour.

I hate myself so much sometimes. Why was I built WRONG?

God, I can't even sleep.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fubuki_/]

Gail was not built WRONG. You are Christian, no? Then don't you know that God don't make no junk? I am not Christian, but we are the way we are. Do you want to get out of your apartment and do something sometime. Umm...if you ever feel like you can't take it, PLEASE just pick up the phone and call some one. I am always available. If need be, I will run out of where ever I am, no matter what I am doing to help a Gail in need ^-^

-Sierra